My Little Roly-Poly

Maddy learned how to turn over this morning. What can you expect from a baby who's now 5 months and 2 weeks old? She can roll from her back to her tummy. She can also roll from tummy to back. I totally missed both moments because I left her in the crib playing with her toys. As soon as I found her practicing her new skill, I couldn't help but call Erwil at work!

Welcome to 4th Grade! Welcome to Room 29!

I wrote a whole blog "To Work or Not To Work" about my thought process on the issue of returning back to work full-time. It reflected how I felt at that time. I applied for FMLA leave time immediately after my 6 weeks of maternity leave expired. Taking a long break was a very good decision for Erwil and me to stay home with Maddy much longer. I just wasn't ready physically and mentally ready to return back to work six weeks after I had given birth and I knew it. I really enjoy being in the classroom also, but I just didn't have enough energy nor much desire to meet the requirements of two callings and perform well at both of them.

Here's a reminiscent flashback...

Back in 2003, while visiting a doctor cousin of mine who lives in a beautiful Long Island suburb of New York asked me, "Beth, how's work?" She couldn't help but laugh when I told her, "I love my job." I understood why she'd laugh at the oddity of my response. Considering how many people there are in America's workforce, how many can honestly say that they love their work? It just sounded funny to her that I'm a minority in the workforce population, but she understood my sentiments when I went into more detail about being a teacher. We compared and contrasted our professions--educator vs. medical doctor--over dinner. We discussed it point by point while eating a hearty $50 French inspired filet mignon, roasted potato, red wine meal that she could afford. (Or, at least stereotypically, what a medical doctor in America could afford to treat an American public school elementary teacher!)

In hindsight, she also admitted that she is so grateful for her dream career as an MD, but if she hadn't have been so deeply invested in medical school and years residency she would've loved the chance to teach math, biology or chemistry in a high school setting herself. Those words melted my heart like a sweet creme brulee compliment from an older cousin-mentor. She was the role-model I looked up to growing up as a little girl, writing letters to me from her NYU dorm who always reminded me to "Study hard!" That meant a lot to me.

I think the truth is that we're all created by God to work, and it's in discerning His calling and seeking the opportunities that will sharpen our talents and skills which will make the difference in how we work--will the work of our hands be purposeful and meaningful? Only God can judge the work of our hands and the attitude of our hearts at the end of each work day. That's based my God-led discovery through work experience that no $100 college textbook or merited college professor can teach. Somewhere between working as a 15-year-old food server at Cinnabon for $4.25 per hour, to working in my mid-thirties as an elementary teacher for LAUSD, I learned that I have been employed under one boss--God. And by working hard, I learned "there is no job beneath you." Even the most menial job will teach a skill or character trait that will equip you towards accomplishing something important for Him.

My heart really loves teaching at Catskill Avenue Elementary. No matter what those LA Times and The Daily Breeze news articles publish about Catskill's mediocre API rankings, I think it's non-reflective of what the teachers and supporting staff members do for the students at this particular elementary school. I learned over the years not to care for those things because it really means nothing and proves nothing about what a real teacher accomplishes in 180 days. Obtaining a quality education will go beyond superficial standardized tests results. I've never worked with a staff who's creative talents and pedagogy (fancy word that means strategies for teaching) are top-notch, than at Catskill. There are so many teachers in that campus who work tirelessly with integrity. I know, because during the time I was displaced I was able to substitute teach in just about everyone's classroom. I saw how every class was organized, not that I was judging anyone's teaching caliber.

I know so many Catskill teachers who bring their own children to Catskill because they can trust that any of those teachers will enhance their child's elementary school experience. Our principal is the most humble man in his leadership position. "Don't talk to me about everything that you are going to do, just do it...and I trust that you'll do it well!," seems to be his laissez faire style to helping Catskill become the school that it is right now. I'm not trying to brag, but I do think that our principal Mr. Brooks is the Coach Phil Jackson of LAUSD elementary schools, though he will never admit it because he's not into receiving attention. When you teach with colleagues who enjoy a healthy collaboration, it becomes the iron that sharpens the iron. I love the challenge, and I love learning how to better myself as a teacher while helping other teachers. This school exhibits teacher professionalism at its finest.

My FMLA leave finally came to an end on June 18th. The funny thing was that I reported back to work on the very last day of the school year and I was ready for it to be my very last day of school, literally speaking. Why? My work status with LAUSD was still unchanged--displaced teacher looking for an elementary classroom to teach in the South Bay (Carson, Torrance, Gardena, San Pedro area). I didn't receive a pink-slip notice, or become a RIF'd teacher, which means that I wasn't laid off. This in-turn meant that I couldn't file paperwork to collect state unemployment checks from the taxpayer's treasury. I was displaced, meaning there was a position for me somewhere in the vast LAUSD boundary. The question was when will I find the right job for me, and who would hire me back? When I received the letter of displacement back in October, I was saddened by the fact that I might not ever return back to Catskill. I just had to move forward and trust that God is in control of our financial and my career situation.

When I took my unpaid leave, I had a good taste of what it would be like if my family were to live under one income. It felt unsettling at first, but after a couple of weeks we learned to just work with the necessities. We learned to be even more thankful for the things we have and were given. By the end of 5 months, the missing paychecks went unnoticed. It was good to stay home every day. I was able to focus on Maddy and Erwil, and enjoy our time together, but still the thought of working in the classroom would loom in my mind.

Later that day, the principal called me into his office. "Mrs. Untalan, a 4th grade teacher filed for resignation on Wednesday. It leaves a spot open in 4th grade. Would you like to take the position for the upcoming school year? I know this is what you want. You will be able to work really close to your babysitter..."

It's true. I wouldn't accept any other position, unless it was an easy drive to Maddy's grandparents house. My own parents live in Carson, while my MIL (mother-in-law) and FIL (father-in-law) live in Torrance. I won't say it's easy, but it's definitely more convenient to bring Maddy to their house early in the morning and pick her up early in the afternoon after school dismissal.

The very last week before summer break I worked inside the classroom. It took me 2 full days to move all my teaching stuff out of Room 31 and into my new classroom, Room 29. It took me 3 days to clean, disinfect, and organize Room 29 all by myself. I gave away a lot of teaching material to a blogger-teacher-friend who I met through Xanga. She happened to be assigned a 5th grade class next year and gladly took all my extra stuff that I stored in my living room while I was a displaced teacher. I didn't want to start off the new school year being a pack-rat. I want a brand new, fresh start to the school year in Room 29!

I was thanking God a million times and excitedly told Erwil a million more times how surprising it is that God answered our prayers. God truly tested my heart to see if it was in the right place all these months (October to June) while waiting for the final answer.

I knew that ultimately in my family's situation, that I couldn't move in any direction without the Lord's guidance. Conversely, I knew that I didn't want to move in any direction without His guidance...

...so was God's unique way of greeting me, "Welcome to 4th Grade, Mrs. Untalan!"

Just Catching Up: Month 4

I have fallen behind on blogging and uploading pictures onto my Picasa account because I didn't make the time to update my credit card to pay the yearly storage fee. Everything's ok now, but I still have to catch up on uploading pictures onto the web just for safe-keeping.

Wow, life has been a constant blur as soon as the weather started feeling like summer heat! Here are some of the highlights that we experienced during Maddy's 4th month of living.

1. Ear Piercing
We had Maddy's ears pierced at 4 months. We originally wanted her to get her ears pierced by 3 months, but there were too many things going on every weekend of May. I asked my sister-in-law Maribel where she took her daughters to get their ears pierced, and she highly recommended Merle Norman. Isn't Merle Norman just a make-up boutique? Apparently, it's a full-service beauty store and they provide ear piercing services as well. They were great with Maddy!



Both Erwil and I were impressed at how Maddy took to her ear piercing. The lady first marked her ear with a special pen. All the other employees and customers were watching Maddy and holding their breath. Some were even wincing in pain when the two Merle Norman reps took hold of the ear piercing guns. When the ladies pierced Maddy's ears at the same time with an ear piercing gun. All I heard was two simultaneous "clicks" and it was over. It happened so fast! I was waiting for Maddy to cry, but she didn't do that at all. Instead she quietly sat with her dad and drank her bottle of milk. What a tough girl!

It looked red at first, but the swelling went down pretty quickly. I just kept swabbing her earlobes with calming lotion and by 2 weeks, her ears were pretty much healed.


2. Separation Anxiety
Maddy is growing quite a fun personality after she got over her phase of separation anxiety. She was so attached to Erwil and me, always crying whenever somebody else would try to hold her or come near to her. Being the one who stays home with Maddy all day, I knew I had to help Maddy feel more comfortable around other people. This would be a really important skill for her to master.

Since I had to report back to work on June 18th to complete my school year of service, Maddy and I practiced getting up at 5:30am to make that morning commute to Torrance by 7am. Erwil's parents are babysitting Maddy while I work. It took the both of us about a week of practice before I was able to leave her at Grandma and Grandpa Untalan's house without crying.

Her separation anxiety has been one of my worries for quite some time. I guess I feel that if Maddy isn't able to handle being with other people who want to hold her and give her their love and attention, she'll not thrive as much as babies who are more open to other people. I also feel that these are the earliest stages for her to learn how to be independent from us.

3. Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding Maddy is actually a topic that I feel very sad to report about. Somewhere around month 3, Maddy finally again decided to accept bottle feedings and her sleep schedule became an easy routine. Erwil and I were so happy for her, because it meant that she can be fed anywhere and anytime. It also meant that I can do more stuff and work around her sleeping pattern.

However, once Maddy was sleeping through the night in her own crib, in her own bedroom, I stopped nursing her at night. I didn't have to get up every 3 hours to feed her anymore, so I slept comfortably in my bed. I also took the pediatrician's advice to stretch Maddy's feedings from 2.5 or 3 hours to 4 hours apart. I really think this is what caused my milk supply to wane. I drank Fenugreek tablets and Mother's Milk Tea constantly, but it still didn't help too much with production. I still pumped for a very long time, but the amount of milk was never the same as it was before.

So I finally arrived to the point where I eventually had to just put Maddy on Enfamil Lipil formula. We began mixing in the frozen breastmilk we had in stock with her formula. The pediatrician noted how healthy Maddy is growing, but I still felt disappointed in my heart. I cried a lot because I was pretty sad about not being able to nurse Maddy to her appetite's desire anymore. My original goal was to breastfeed Maddy for a whole year, but I felt like such a failure that I didn't even make it to 6 months.

I've gotten over the whole breastfeeding failure eventually because Maddy's immune system is still in great shape. She hasn't gotten a single cold, even when she's around other people who are sick. Maddy has eczema, but there's not even a single trace of dry skin or skin rashes on her. She is gaining weight and growing steadily.

4. Language
I am still helping Maddy learn sign language through Baby Signing Time videos and reinforcing it whenever possible. For now, I think she understands the sign for "milk". She can't use her hands to sign back to me yet, but whenever I say "milk" or "gatas" I see Maddy's eyes widen and she smiles.

5. Drool
Yes, Maddy loves to gnaw on the side of her pacifier and fingers. I think she goes through 2-3 bib changes in a day. I don't think she's teething yet, but I'm not opposed to it either.